Understanding Bullshit: Jared Kushner (A Case Study)


Ken doll look-alike and Patrick Bateman fanboy, Jared Kushner, (whose intellectual rigor has been compared to that of cooked spaghetti), suffers from what’s known in the psychiatric community as, “delusions of competency.”
Basking in his reputation as an amoral shithead who will do almost anything to get “his people” ahead. (Even a dickless chunk of plastic has more humanity than Donald Trumps son-in-law.) Kushner has managed to build himself a small “empire” with other people’s money.
Yet, to describe Kushner as snarky, scheming or slimy is being too nice. Totally lacking any personal principles, or even a proper sense of shame, this well-connected schmuck has consistently sought to curry favor with “Big Business”, just so he can line his own bank account with money that is, once again, not his.
Take season two of the Netflix original series “Dirty Money”, a documentary series which exposes greed, corruption and crime in the global economy. In episode three, titled: “Slumlord Millionaire,” one interview subject refers to Kushner as a “tier one predator,” and the rest of the episode goes on to dissect exactly how Kushner may have (read: absolutely did) use his position in the U.S. government to secure business deals for his private company.
Before becoming the favorite man child of our reigning megalomaniac-in-chief, Kushner used to be the head of Kushner Companies, the massive real estate company bequeathed to him by his father, Charles Kushner. A man who served 14 months in federal prison after pleading guilty to 18 counts of illegal campaign contributions, tax evasion, and witness tampering. (The witness tampering charge came about because Charles Kushner hired a sex worker to seduce his brother-in-law, filmed the interaction, and had the tape sent to his sister, the man’s wife). And the stench surrounding the Kushner name grows more pungent with every passing day.
For example: Kushner Companies knowingly failed to obtain and keep Certificates of Occupancy for many of its New York City rental buildings, a Certificate of Occupancy, or CO, must be presented to the New York City Health Department proving that a building is safe to live in, and the government has repeatedly looked the other way. It hasn’t been proven why the city is so loose with Kushner Companies, but Charles Kushner has donated to Governor Andrew Cuomo, and there are known emails between Kushner and New York City Mayor Bill DeBlasio.
Kushner Companies was mainly known as a New Jersey developer until it made the splashy $1.8 billion purchase of 666 Fifth Avenue in 2007, a then record-breaking price. The property was of course heavily leveraged and shed most of its larger tenants during the 2008 recession. Which left Kushner Companies scrambling to find partners to bail it out of its foolhardy investment once the mortgage on the property came due last year. This situation, naturally, led some people to write headlines such as, “Jared Kushner’s Family Is Screwed, and It‘s All Boy Wonder’s Fault,” pointing out that the “Boy Prince of New Jersey” can’t even succeed at jobs that are literally handed to him.
Recently a few pundits at Fox News have begun to raise concerns with the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) Dr Anthony Fauci. Saying he has never been elected to anything. (I guess expertise is something that needs to be elected to be believed?). But I am more interested in knowing which position Jared Kushner was elected to represent?
There was even a recent Twitter thread that asked: “What are Kushner’s qualifications for his role in the White House”, and most commenters argued that his proximity to stupidity has helped him; others included that he was rich. Some said that he’d married well, but the overall consensus was that he had none. (Everyone also mentioned that his parents paid his way into Harvard.)
“There was no way anybody in the administrative office of the school thought he would on merits get into Harvard,” a former official at the Frisch School in Paramus, New Jersey, told The Price of Admission author Daniel Golden. “His GPA did not warrant it, his SAT scores did not warrant it. We thought for sure, there was no way this was going to happen. Then, lo and behold, Jared was accepted. It was a little bit disappointing because there were at the time other kids we thought should really get in based on merits, and they did not.” (Looks like the class of '03 had a real, live fascist among them. Who says Harvard isn't diverse?).
But we’re not finished: The Saudi Crown Prince has even boasted the he has Jared Kushner in his pocket. “The Saudis have used their privileged relationship with Kushner to gain greater freedom of movement on issues that are important to them," said Brett Bruen, who served as director of global engagement in the Obama White House. "Where have we been able to achieve inroads when it comes to Saudi diplomacy? There's very little that Jared Kushner has achieved in the almost two years of working on this." Bruen said he is concerned that foreign officials will ingratiate themselves with Kushner, take advantage of his inexperience and use him as a back channel to get to Trump. (Remember when Jared kushner helped the Saudi royal family dismember a journalist and it was a big story for like a week and then everyone forgot about it?)
Yet, in addition to accomplishing absolutely nothing in life, the “First Son-in-Law”, in what is perhaps the most outrageous scandal concerning Kushner, (who has no expertise in anything, save for wildly overestimating his own capabilities and his work as a slumlord), is that he believes the deadly Covid-19 pandemic is, “more about public psychology than a health reality.” And according to the New York Times, he also advised Trump, in the early days of the catastrophe, that their favorite punching bag was basically making the whole thing up. 
To date, Jared Kushner is basically following in Trump’s footsteps; his father made money in real estate and the young Kushner is eating off the fat of the land. It’s not as if he worked for it; he was merely born on third base and can’t stop talking about the swing that gave him a triple.
We are in the middle a fucking pandemic right now and the last person we need to hear from is a fucking moron whose credentials didn’t lead him to his position and who has the nerve to be an arrogant asshole while trying to inform the public of the goings-on in a crisis. (I never thought I would write the above sentence and not be referring to Pat Robertson).
We deserve better, but I’m sure by now we’ve all accepted that we aren’t going to get it. At this point, we are in a toxic relationship with someone we never wanted to date and have no idea how to get the fuck out of it. No one elected Kushner; we’ve inherited him, and fuck if I’m going to listen to an evil penis shaped oligarch tell me anything about anything without noting that he’s also a dick shaped shit weasel. 
Political consultant Roger Stone used to have a rather personal/cynical motto: “Admit nothing, deny everything, launch counterattack.” But for Kushner I suggest something different: “Spread your ass cheeks, twist yourself into a pretzel and go fuck yourself.”

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