Poetry: Selections from Hayley Allcock

A Disappointed Appointment

EUPD, Im informed, Emotionally unstable personality disorder. 

Just do the talking therapy

take your meds, in the morning and at night

and you'll be better. It'll help you to smile.

My head still jumps, zigzag's, circles round. I'm confused

My anxiety lies to me, my anxiety tricks my mind. 

How should I feel? 

I can't sit still, but I force myself to be calm, 

I try to express myself, say how I'm feeling, 

But that's impossible when I don't even know myself. 

I go to another appointment, is it an appointment if it's a disappointment?

More talking therapy, meds morning and night. 

The pills in my hand, the smile I fake

The tissues I don't need, using my pillow instead

But I take my pills, force that smile. 

Am I normal yet? Am I better?

It Will Be Okay

With a heavy heart, a feeling of dread, empty pockets and holes in her socks

she stepped out of her front door and climbed into a car she knew needed refilling, hoping it’d at least get her to work and her weekly shop.

So No, this isn’t a fairytale, it’s the harsh reality of everyday life for the poor. 

This was the life of a person living in poverty, a life that many could still relate to and many still endure. 

She goes to work, does her shift, picks up any hours that she is able,

On her break phones her husband, and discuss how and what food they will put on the table. 

She finishes work, goes shopping with her list. Counting the pennies, hoping to not exceed the pounds. 

Looking, hoping, and saving anywhere she can, loading up her haul and then she is home bound. 

She feeds her child, sees him smile, then runs a warm bath, extra bubbles.

And just as he lays his head in bed and whispers ‘I love you’, for a moment she forgets all her troubles. 

She reminds herself every night as she rests her head for the day

That although they may be poor, money is not what matters as long as they have each other, everything will be okay.

Hayley Allcock (East of England, UK) has always had a passion for writing and enjoys literary content in various forms. This includes Audiobooks due to her husbands visual impairment. Her son loves stories too, reading each day. Hayley is an ex-childcare practitioner and now works in dementia care. Hayley has had work published in Ariel Chart, Friday Flash Fiction and upcoming publications in Acedemy of the heart and mind and volume 6 of Adverbially challenged.