Fiction: this neighborhood makes me want to get a boobjob 🏠

By Jesse Larkins

There’s a bird outside my window.
I feel like I’m in a Disney movie.
Maybe if I’m friendly it’ll come in and dress me.
The mice would say hi
We could have a montage where I try on clothes.
I’m tired.
The bird woke me up.
There’s a scratch on the glass of the window now.
Was it pecking at it?
It stares at me.
It’s a pigeon.
My mom doesn’t get it.
She’s very old fashioned
I don’t want to fuck any of these guys
They’re just my friends
Well two of them are
Since elementary school
They would go to jail for me
They have
The third guy is their friend
A hockey player
I’d seen him before but now I know him
And I can’t live at home forever
I’m 24
How did it take this long to move out
What’s that one saying?
Arrested development?
I scroll through the Met Gala runway pics
Who are you?
Cardi B?
Looks cute
Survivor is playing
I forget what season
This dumb fucking whore
Some people can’t keep it in their pants
I was a Cold Stone girl
They only hire cute girls to work the front
That’s what people want to see
I quit
Start doordashing
This doesn’t last long either
Now I just draw furry porn
Some people will buy anything
I don’t even think it’s that good
It’s just graphic
I make sure there are little bunny tears
Tight bunny pussies bouncing on big bunny cocks
I start seeing this cute guy I met on tinder
He’s a starving artist
He just isn’t starving.
And he hasn’t made anything in years.
We meet at Panera
He gets us green passion smoothies and we talk about the Will Smith slap.
My roommates aren’t home
We sneak into Cody’s room
He doesn’t have a password for his laptop
We check his history
It’s all smut
Well not smut
The most recent is a gangbang at a wedding
The bride is passed out
The guys are giggling and drinking
The quality is trash
Filmed on a flip phone
They all fuck her
Cum in discreet places
Then her pubic mound
Her braided hair
They bet on which spot she’ll notice first
The dress is ruined
I imagine what it took to get her that dress
Maybe she’s just a whore
Some dumb bitch in a porno
Pretending to get raped
And I’m just a sucker
We scroll through his history
There’s a video of a woman getting fucked by a horse
We watch it a little too long
I still think about it
Will you be my metalcore whore?
Of course daddy
He takes me to a punk show
They’re okay I guess
It’s my first time in a mosh pit
Sweaty large men
Veins pulsing
We’re all colliding
I lose my glasses for a song
I’ll wake up to bruises
He buys me a t shirt
Gushes over them at the merch table
He’s never been this excited
Not that I’ve seen
We watch Aristocats.
It’s not as good as we remember.
Have you heard that joke?
What joke
The aristocrats
He tells it
I smile
It’s not that funny
I start rubbing his crotch
Unbuckle his jeans
He stretches out and I pull them down
I could eat him
I suck his dick.
He holds my hair back.
Strands of it stick to the shaft with saliva
I get up and straddle him.
Work him inside me.
He fucks me.
It’s not what I was expecting
It’s its own thing
I’m happy.
He has to go but he says he’ll text me.
As soon as you get home please
Of course honey.
He kisses my sweaty forehead and leaves.
I put on Conan interviewing Jack Black
There’s a knock at my door
It’s Frank
Do you want to fuck
No. How many times do I have to tell you
Sorry I’m drunk
Sure I say.
Didn’t you just fuck someone?
So what? You’re not in the mood? I took Bio.
You’re still horny.
Please fuck off.
Okay I’m sorry.
I close my door and climb back under the covers.
It’s thanksgiving
I’m 11
My uncle says
Wow you’ve grown up so much
He stares at my tits
The whole dinner I hate myself
I feel him the whole time
I get some green bean casserole
I can tell he’s checking out my ass
I want to crumple myself up like a wad of paper
But I also kind of like it
The pigeon wakes me up
It wakes us all up
It has a schedule
Finn and Jake enter the candy kingdom
Cody has his feet on the coffee table
Is that pigeon outside your window?
Yeah. Did it wake you up?
I’m gonna kill that fucking thing
Ohmygod no please don’t. I’ll get rid of it.
Okay. If you don’t I will. And you won’t like how I do it.
I believe him.
He ghosts me
I don’t see him for weeks
I want to text him but I want him to text me.
I’m stronger than whatever image he has of me.
He can go fuck himself
But I love him
His jawline
I imagine Cody fucking me
He pins me against my bed with his hockey stick
Cutting off my oxygen
His big fat cock slipping in and out of me
Maybe he has a small dick
I stop rubbing myself
Dad says I was suckling from the tit  
He says I relied on mom and him for too long
I still need you I say
I know but look at you
He’s so proud
I left the nest
He takes a big bite of burger
Now that’s real good
He asks if I have anything to tell him
It could be anything in the world
I tell him I’m ready to become a witch
I want to cast spells
He laughs
I’ve been watching the videos online though
Im convinced I’ll be able to by the end of the week
I go drinking
It’s me and the guys
I love my guys
They drive me fucking crazy too
They are so loud
Im too trashed to drive now
So are they
They get an Uber
I call him
We wait for him outside the bar
We shit talk
Why do girls put tampons soaked in alcohol up their pussies?
Gets you drunker
His car pulls up
Is that him?
Cody sounds jealous
Like a child
It sure is
He’s like a pie on the window sill
I can’t help it
I float to him
I also hate him
Fuck him
But I’m going to fuck his brains out
I want him to relinquish control
I’ll take care of everything
I’m getting dropped off early.
There’s my favorite niece
I like it when he stares
I smile
I can’t wait to get inside
We get back to the house
We have plenty of time to fuck before the boys are dropped off
We talk about Dogme 95
I had never heard of it
I knew the guys in it and some of their shit
I could listen to this boy for hours.
I tell him that.
He grins
It’s a little annoying but I want to grab him
He’s mine
I can’t let him be anyone else’s
Please don’t leave me
I’ve only ever wanted you
I think these things but would never say them
Who does he think he is?
The next day we go antiquing
We get tacos from the food truck
We see dogs at a pet store
Dream about raising one together
Laugh about dreaming
We see a movie
An Agatha Christie mystery
We go driving
He takes me through the suburbs
Rows of identical houses
They’re so ugly
It turns me on
I can see myself in one of these houses
A little soccer mommy
Wine in my coffee mug
Gossiping with my gal pals
Ohmygod did you hear about so and so?
If she thinks she’s getting back her casserole dish she has another thing coming
I’d get implants
I’d turn on all the 12 year olds
Jog every morning around the cul-de-sac
My lululemons
My “juicy” catour track suit
Like Paris Hilton
I want you to stare at my round ass
That’s why I bought this
At night he takes me to his friends gallery
It’s pretentious
We both think so
We see him and tell him it’s so good
No! Seriously! It reminds me of some of the more abstract—expressionist Jackson Pollacky-type of work! I’m very into it!
I’m accepted by his friends
I don’t like them but I want them to like me
He thanks me
I let him squeeze my ass when no one is around
When we have our backs to walls
These post modernists are so lazy
I’m watching cartoons downstairs
Cody comes in
What are you watching?
He says this with disgust
Okay bro
I just ignore him
He plops down next to me
A little too close
There’s a glass of milk on the table
Room temperature
When did he pour it?
I’ve been here awhile
He drinks it slowly
I hate that shit
I don’t like the idea of milking something
This show is for kids he says
I mean okay?
We cook together
He’s pretty good at chopping
I imagine him sticking the knife in me
First in my side while I’m not looking
I look like Dorothy
Blue and white checkered dress
Then he sticks it right in my fucking head
Oh shit! He’s genuinely surprised
I was not expecting that
He watches me bleed out everywhere
He picks me up off the floor
Sorry sweetie!
Stitches me up
Gives me Vicodin
That’s my angel
Frank’s mom dies
We all go to the funeral
I call my mom the whole week
Just checking in
It feels good to be so connected to her now
We run out of things to talk about
That makes me feel even better
My aunt has work today
It’s okay though
It’s better that way
He lays a pillow on the floor
I lay my stomach on it
He puts on the goofy movie
The beginning gives me nightmares
Where the son becomes his dad
One tooth at a time
I watch it anyway
I want to be older than I am
He starts rubbing my back
Loosens my overalls
We get drunk
We watch a fucked up movie
A baby falls out a window
A guy gets his dick cut off
It’s beautiful
I wake up
His fingers are inside me
What are you doing?
It’s the last time we see each other.
It’s too big
It tears me apart
To pieces
There’s so much blood
No no don’t worry it’s okay
I’ll take care of everything
And I let him
There is a big mess in front of the house
Right before you open the door
On the welcome mat
I step over it and go inside.
Cody walks by
What happened to the pigeon I ask.
Hockey stick.
I go to my room.
I cry.
I’ll move out soon.
I just need work.

Jesse Larkins is a writer and filmmaker from Detroit, MI. He loves dogs.