Poetry: Selections from Michael Pollentine

Nodding

“you need to start standing up for yourself,”
his venom words.
I nod.
the incident:
some large businessman’s distaste
at my dishevelled addled
clobber,
forced my hand
a few inches
down the hand
rail
on the bus
from the airport
to the carpark
with the residue
of 20 pills,
bass,
coke,
alcohol,
Marlboros
licking my system
awake,
too fucked to respond
I just didn’t care
before the flight
escorted out back
two security staff
in my mind now,
look like twins
still
the slap of latex gloves
coating hands
form shaking,
not through nerves,
in fact I fronted them out,
made them repeat their foreign words
in English,
before I signed shit
but the drugs ripping me asunder
was too much
really must give up
then out amongst the crew,
ribbing the Schlong
(handle a whole other story)
passengers’ orbs
cast
judgment
the car drive
nodding,
spliff
ash
failing
every time
to leave the window
blowback
“not gettin’ any on my seats are you?”
nod uncomfortable,
extinguishes in my fingers
at home
codeine
a lover’s name
slips me under
its calming words
I missed you so much
I missed you so much
I nod.



Harsh Truths

the harsh truth is
I was devastated when you left
like nothing
because
you withdrew
my value
as a man
a practical nurse
removing
a catheter
freckled eyes
stern smile
attractive
older
like a film star
Maureen O’Hara
or Kirsten Dunst
crossed with Julianne Moore
the pure white
period of magic
is something I value
like your skin
or paper
and when you left
it was just right
and although I loved
I desired more
you next to me
in others’ eyes
embarrassing
and shameful
wherever you are
be assured
you carry my worth
my thanks,
my apologies,
my desire
that your life
is everything  
you desire
and I no longer care
if you think of me
because
why should you?
but you were
beautiful.



Fits and Starts

at times
a tidal wave
crashes
and I sob
for ten seconds
exact
wipe
my eyes
and resume
life.





Michael Pollentine’s poetry has featured in Outcast Press magazine (Vol. 9 – where it also won Best Poem), A Thin Slice of Anxiety, Bristol Noir, Terror House Magazine, Lothlorien Poetry Journal, Roi Fain√©ant Press, Bear Creek Gazette, Don’t Submit, Black Scat Review, Alien Buddha Press (Alien Buddha Skips the Party Part 2, and Zine #42) and many others. He lives in South Wales with his wife.

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