Fiction: Sobby

By Kevin Johnson Murillo

 

Sobby was a pathetic figure. His hat drooped to the height of his crotch. His harlequin garb was loose-fitting and tattered. And he liked to cry a lot. Too much. All of the time and anywhere and at every opportunity. He was notorious in the Harlequin Community for tarnishing their good name. “They all think we're unhappy.” That was Flappy who, inspired by the masks of ancient Greek Tragedy and Comedy, flipped between morose happiness and giddy despair on a whim. (He wasn't exactly the best representative of the harlequins either, but they [the Harlequins] were notably unequal in their approaches to their work, so that it would have been challenging if not impossible to pin down exactly what a harlequin was.) But despite his reputation as a bad actor, Sobby was actually a very active—some would say vital—part of the Community because he added gravitas to their otherwise frantic and nonsensical proceedings. How so? Bozo the Boozer was boorish and made a mockery of himself in front of a crowd of shopping townsfolk by urinating extensively in his trousers. Then Sobby weeps in the corner by a clothing store. The townsfolk, who would otherwise be offended, through Sobby's intervention are able to find depth in Bozo's buffoonery. Another example: The Harlequins are tormenting a little girl in the town square by yelling the names of birds and other euphemisms. Sobby, by the great monument to the Conqueror who enabled this town's erection, he cries. And the girl is consoled in the knowledge that her torment serves a higher purpose, minimally: commiseration. These cases serve to underline the important role Sobby served in the community writ large. Who would have thought, then, that he would be chosen as their scapegoat when the aforementioned conqueror came for an offering? Of course it was Flappy who suggested him as tribute. (The truth was that he couldn't stand having a coequal in the art of weeping.)

The Harlequins congregated in the Conqueror's palace's (actually just a town hall) throne room. The walls were lined with shields and swords. / In a barren field outside the town:

“Show me your finest,” said the C. with a wreath full of thorns.

Boogie (pronounced boo-guee), the most apathetic of their ilk, brought forward Sobby, restrained. The titular character did what he was known for.

“What good is this to me?” asked the C..

Then Talk-a-lot the Talkative Tobacconist, with an enormous, unending scroll, enumerated the Sobby's virtues. The C. was pleased, but as Talk-a-lot's voice droned on & on, the other harlequins took note of the value of a Sobby (this was reflected on their cheerful faces), whereas the C. began to get irritated.

“Enough! I understand he can be an asset in conquered territories when morale is low. Anything else?”

Sobby's sobbing grew louder and more perceptible.

Ironically enough, it was Flappy who came to the rescue: “We need him to remind us of the tragedy of laughter.”

“Isn't that what you're good for?” asked Bozo, belching.

“Yes, but I can't be miserable all the time,” said Flappy, uncharacteristically serious.

Talk-a-lot: “Are you saying we send somebody else?”

“Send him! Send him!” exclaimed Speedy, the most enthusiastic of the bunch, while pointing at Boogie.

“ENOUGH!” growled the C.. “I've had it with all of you. I don't even know why I let you live on my land.”

Speedy: “Because we bring joy and laughter to the people?”

C.: “Certainly not that. You're lousy clowns. Seeing as taking Sobby would ruin you, then fine, I'll take the boring one.” To his advisor: “(Don't let anyone say I'm not a wise and just conquistador.)”

Thus, Boogie was taken as sacrifice to the angry rain god the conqueror adored, his heart extracted and his ribcage exposed to the terrified denizens of the town. On a happier note, Sobby was reintroduced into the Harlequin Community with open arms; he nearly smiled.

 

 

 

 

 

Kevin Johnson Murillo is a Spanish philologist and translator allegedly existing in Costa Rica's GAM. His short, ugly stories have appeared in ExPat Press, EgoPHobia, and SCAB, among others. Instagram: @kevin.johnson.murillo